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風立ちぬ:堀 辰雄(558-604)/1268


"Yes, I'm a bit more ... ..." I told you to speak.


- "Yes, I wish I had abandoned my work for quite a long time.


Somehow I have to put out some jobs right now. "... ... While figuring out such a thing, somewhat I got a lot of feelings.


Then while we were silent for a while, while standing on the hill, we were staring at the clouds like the myriad scales spread out from the west a little bit in the sky.


Soon we went through the woodlands of yellow leaves of trees, and went back to the hospital from the back.


On that day, there were 23 people, and the hill of the example had been broken down.


As I passed by that side, I was saying very casually seemingly that "anything seems to create a flower bed here."


I went to see my father down to the station in the evening, when I came back and looked at it, the sick man was lying face to heavy cough while laying his body sideways in the bed.


I have never done such a hard cough before.


While waiting for that attack to quell a little,


"what's up?"


As I asked,


"It's nothing.


... ... I will stop running short. "The sick man finally answered.


"Please give me that water"


I poured a little of the water into the glass from the flask and brought it to her mouth.


She drank a bite and had been calm for a while, but such a condition passed in a short time, or a seizure of greater intensity than before was attacking her.


I almost did not ask her what she was pulling out to the edge of the bed and could not help her.


"Shall I call a nurse?"




Even though the seizure subsided she continued to twist her body like pain, she covered her face with both hands and just nodded.


I went to call a nurse.


And as soon as I entered the hospital room of a nurse who ran ahead of me, I was returning to a somewhat comfortable position while allowing the nurse to be supported with both hands.


However, as she struck it, she was blindly looking at her eyes.


The attack of cough seemed to have temporarily stopped.


While the nurse released the hand that was supporting her little by little,


"It has stopped already.


...... So, please keep it still, "and began to correct disturbed blankets and the like.


"I will come and ask for injection now"


As the nurse left the room, I nagged a little for me, where I could not find where I could stay and stand standing in the door.


"Give me a little sputum"


I finally approached her bedside.


She was blindly looking at her eyes but I thought she was asleep somehow.


While I scooped up the small swirled hair swollen in the forehead, I stroked the cold sweaty forehead gently with my hand.


She finally brought a mysterious smile to her as if she had felt my warm presence to it.



Absolute rest days continued.


The window of the hospital room was completely wholesale of a yellow sun and the inside was dim.


Nurses also walked with their feet clenched.


I was mostly attached to the bedside of the sick.


Night gay was also undertaken alone.


Sometimes the sick person looked at me and said to something.


I put my fingers in my mouth quickly so as not to say it.


Such a silence had us retract each of us.


But we just felt as painfully as to what the other's thinking is.


And while I was thinking about the upcoming event as if it were just a turning point for something I was sacrificed and I got something that was just turned into something I just saw, the sick man was also a sick person It was clearly felt by me that he seemed to regret as if two people had destroyed what he had meticulously and meticulously raised from his lighthearted moment.


And without a sacrifice of their own sacrifice, the fickle feelings of sick people who seemed to blame their own innocuous things were sticking to my heart.